SLEEPING ALONE RIGHT NOW FOREVER AND NOT AT ALL

I can sleep forever

and never leave my apartment

unless I know someone loves me like I how love

fresh cut Christmas trees, confetti,

Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, coffee with sugar and cream,

warm lighting and I don’t mean love

because that is something you can process

I mean the heart that’s beating I mean when you gather up

all the insides of yourself

and then it all drops

like kids jumping

in a moving elevator

I mean the body and its those impulses which give me urgency

and reality and a little bit of energy

guess what

there’s no mistake to be made here

Inside the rings of trees

are mandalas which we can’t see

god, I feel crazy, and so against showers

even though, well

no, I can take one tomorrow

or maybe the next day

sometimes some monks

arrange colored sand

in elaborate patterns

and let it blow away